I had a plentiful breakfast today. Of course, I was shackled to a chair and being fed by one of La Nuit's staff - a butler named Jeeves. But it was more than I had eaten within the past month or so.
"I made it myself." La Nuit was comfortably sitting at the other head of the table, opposite from me. The table was so long he had to shout to make sure I could hear him above his many echoes. "Do you like it?" Another green spoonful was shoved in my mouth before I could answer. "I'm sorry about the color. I only eat green foods, it's a part of my diet. I want to lose three pounds. Unfortunately, there's the side effect of being turned green, but meh, it's only a shade darker than what I was born with!" He laughed. The man next to me almost choked me with the spoon. "You aren't laughing. You do not find me funny? I hope it's just indegestion and not you being rude, after I've been so hospitable to you. Of course I make it a habit of mine to be as hospitable as I can be to ALL of my guests. Even the ones who I don't plan to keep for long. I don't recall you answer my question... do you like it?"
I managed to knock the spoon out of the man's hand. "Ummm, yes. It's very... interesting. Thanks. What's in this by the way?" Another spoonful... this time with a hint of dirt.
"Well, there's your usual green foods: celery, peppers, lettuce, grapes, etcetera. But, I also like to use things that many people throw away, such as the leafy parts of carrots, mold scraped from old cheese, freshly mowed grass, snot, and crocodile skin." I forcefully swallowed what I had in my mouth. It was hard keeping it down, the dirt taste didn't help at all.
"I think I'm full!" I said quickly sealing my mouth shut.
"Ok then. Jeeves, untie him from the chair. Jean Paul and I are going on a trip."
We walked down a long staircase. My ankles were cuffed, as well as my hands, so it wasn't possible for me to run fast, and flying without the use of my arms for balance, well that was out of the question. When we reached the bottom, I felt a push on my shoulder, and fell into a chamber.
I turned and saw Art and Berzerker in the chamber next to me.
"No talking!" With a wave of La Nuit's arm, Art's mouth was gone, replaced by a black void.
"What the hell did you do to him!?" Berzerker yelled.
"What? You mean you do not know the powers of La Nuit?"
"Never even heard of you man."
"WHAT!? You have never heard of La Nuit?" He started laughing.
"Nope." The laughing stopped.
"SILENCE!" Another wave of his hand, and another mouth replaced by the black void. "I will tell you then, since I know everything there is to know about La Nuit, being La Nuit is I! Actually, I don't have much time, so here's the skinny. I do missions for other lazy people, in this case, kidnapping Northstar, and when the mission is complete I get paid! As you can tell by my place, I do well in business! Along with my mansion, I have also bought my self a television crew and I have my own show! I LOVE having both fame AND fortune! Oh, and I have the power to create darkness. I am MADE of darkness. So, don't worry about your friend, he's fine. Just a little dark in the mouth! HAHAHAHA--AHHHHHH WHAT!? HOW!?"
"FOOL!" Shouted Art. "Too bad you've never heard of ME, or else you would have known that my power is creating solid light! It's what my sculptures are made of! Man, if only you had told me all this before! Your powers are no match against mine!" With a flash, the dark handcuffs were gone and La Nuit fell over.
"It's going to take more than just rays to hurt me!"
"Yeah!? Try THIS on for size!" He swung his arm like he was pitching a ball and a spike made of solid light flew at La Nuit and hit him in the chest. With a snap, the man exploded. Art quickly freed us and we ran upstairs and out of the dungeon. We ran outside, where we unexpectedly but very happily saw the X-Jet landing in the front yard.
Iceman, Storm, and Wolverine all jumped out. Wolverine passed us and went into the building, as Storm asked us if we were ok.
"I GOT HIM! WE'RE SAFE!" Wolverine emerged from the building with Jeeves in a headlock.
"No buts! I got him! I'm the best! Let's go!" Him and Jeeves entered the X-Jet, followed by Berzerker, Storm, and Art.
"He's such a stubborn ass sometimes" said Bobby.
"Yeah he is." I said.
"It's good to have you back JP"
"I'll race ya inside!" He ran inside the X-Jet, turned around to proclaim his victory, when I tapped him on the shoulder from inside the plane.
"Who do you think you're fooling, racing me?" We laughed. It was a Kodak Moment. A little while later I was back in New York, and finally away from everything. Sucks to be the guy who hired La Nuit... whoever that was. Huh.